Leslie M.B.

This is Part 1 of a two-part series exploring the weight women are expected to carry in marriage.

In this post, we unpack the silent pressure placed on women to pray, fix, and fight — even when the relationship is breaking.

In Part 2, we’ll explore the myth of “maturity” and the two kinds of marriages no one talks about.

→ Read Part 2 here: There’s Maturity… and Then There’s Survival

I have a question.

Why is it always the woman?

Why is it always her who has to pray for the marriage?

Fast for the breakthrough?

Hold on, keep quiet, be strong, forgive, forget, and carry everything — even when she’s the one hurting?

Is marriage only for women?

Because that’s how it feels sometimes.

When things fall apart, when disrespect comes in, when communication breaks down or cheating enters the picture — who do they run to?

The woman.

“You have to pray harder.”

“Don’t give up on your family.”

“Cover him spiritually.”

“Men are just like that.”

But excuse me… what about him?

Why aren’t men told to pray for their wives?

Why aren’t men told to fast for their household?

Why aren’t men held to the same standard of spiritual weight, emotional sacrifice, or healing?

Even when it comes to something like fertility, people are quick to tell the woman to pray, to fast, to detox, to seek deliverance — but no one ever stops to ask if the man has even gone for a check-up. Maybe his sperm count is low. But still, she carries the burden, the shame, the pressure — alone.

Let’s talk about the disrespect too.

Women are told:

Don’t check his phone — it’ll only hurt you.

Men flirt sometimes, it doesn’t mean he’s cheating.

He’s under stress.

You just need to forgive.

Be wise. Be mature. Cover him.

But what about us?

Do we not have emotions?

Do we not get betrayed?

Do we not feel invisible, tired, broken, and angry?

Why is it that if a woman cheats, she’s a disgrace…

But if a man cheats, he’s just “struggling with temptation”?

And then they love to throw this one:

“Well, she stayed. That’s why they’re still married.”

As if staying in a broken marriage automatically makes someone spiritually elite.

But what about the woman who’s still dying inside that marriage?

What about the ones who stayed because they were scared, because they had no money, because the church told them they’d be a sinner if they left?

Is that holiness — or just captivity in disguise?

I’m tired of the double standard.

Tired of marriages where the woman becomes the emotional, spiritual, and mental caretaker — while the man sits, floats, and still gets praised just for showing up.

Tired of seeing women blamed for the collapse of a relationship that was never truly mutual to begin with.

Because if marriage is a covenant — shouldn’t both people uphold it?

If healing is needed — shouldn’t both be doing the work?

Here’s what I know now:

A woman was never meant to carry the full weight of a marriage on her own.

She is not the savior.

She is not the sacrifice.

She is not the prayer warrior, therapist, punching bag, and priest all in one.

She is not here to constantly fix what he keeps breaking.

So yes, I’m asking the question out loud:

Why is it always the woman?

Why is she the one made to prove her worth through pain?

Why is she the one told to stay, even when he’s not trying?

Why is she the only one they send spiritual advice to?

And if marriage is really this one-sided, where only the woman has to break, bend, and bleed for it to survive — then what is the point?

Because that doesn’t sound like God.

That sounds like manipulation.

🔗 Next: “There’s Maturity… and Then There’s Survival”

(A deeper look at the two kinds of marriages women are told to accept — and why it’s time to stop confusing silence with strength.)